What’s Happening Now?

Life since  graduating from Academy has been very exciting!  Every time J gets home there are always stories to tell and things to talk about. Dinner conversation is never boring. Drug busts, car crashes, foot chases, and crazy domestic calls are always among the stories.  For now it’s exciting to hear all the details of every call.  Although it has been an adjustment, as we now have officially experienced day, swing, and night shifts…. it hasn’t been too difficult of a transition so far.  I think we are in the NEW and EXCITING phase of it all!

For those of you who don’t know J is still on his probationary period and will be for quite some time.  He is soon finishing his 2nd phase of training and is about to head into his 3rd.  What that entails is working with different FTO’s – field training officers who teach, observe & critique you while on duty.  So he is a fully functioning police officer but is always with another officer.  After phase 3 he will be on his own! He is loving every minute of it all.  Not to say there isn’t stressful moments….

The first day back from academy he went to a call of an attempted murder! The scene of the crime was less than pretty.  But for a rookie he definitely got thrown right in and helped investigate the scene. Welcome to the Job! Good Grief! I’m pretty sure this is how our text conversation went that day (which is minimal already):

Me :  How was shift?

J: Oh boy do I have a story for you. First night back and we have an attempted murder! Crazy!!!

Me: WHAT??!?! Awesome. (insert sarcasm)

J:  no response.

Then I didn’t hear from him till he came home later that morning.  Totally not the kind of thing you want to hear on your mans first night back esp. when your trying to go to sleep. Ha!  But non the less it kick started his career and all went well.

The second day back from academy he got to drive the police car with his FTO in the passenger seat.  Nerves were high already as you want to be able to find the location of the call and maneuver the streets the quickest way possible. But of course as the rookie your learning to balance and multi task so much all at once that mistakes are inevitable.  Learning to answer a call, figure out where you are going, figure how your going to handle the situation once you get there becomes a load of stress.  Especially when you have an officer grading you essentially on your every move in real life situations.  But he is getting the hang of it after going down a few wrong streets and making some mistakes- which is expected. He’s got nothing but good feedback from his FTO’s, along with being at the end of  a few good pranks to welcome him to the team.  Many officers have even said that not until about 2 years of working does everything seem to finally just click- the layout of the streets, the order in which you do everything and why you do it that way seems to just all make sense. So J is on the right track!

I think one of the funniest stories was when he first started and was transporting a person to the jail.  The streets are super narrow and are full of parked cars so at times it can be hard to see if there are cars coming as you are trying to cross from a side street.  He was driving.  He pulled forward past the parked cars to see if there was any traffic coming and right at that moment a car flew past causing J to slam on his brakes.  Unfortunately right at that same moment the transporte in the back was leaning forward and smashed their head against the cage bar. Uh-Oh…..  J got a good nasty stare from his FTO and J profusely apologized to the passenger, as it was a total accident.  Luckily the passenger was fine. In the moment it was humiliating. No one let that story go at the department for a few days.  Yet it made for a good learning experience and a good laugh later!

I will say as a wife hearing SO many stories already, I am amazed at how many people will smoke, sniff, and snort pretty much anything they can get their hands on.  I’m constantly shocked at what the police officers find from day to day.  The quality of life so many people live is sad.  Hopelessness is overpowering their lives.  It’s interesting as I often find myself defending people and wondering why they act the way they do. I’m such a advocate at heart. Makes for an interesting combo for the two of us!

P.S.

We would love your prayers as J heads out of training.  Pray for wisdom, safety & confidence.  Pray that J can show respect and love to all who he comes into contact with while also protecting himself & the community.

Last Minute Motivation

As J is only a few days away from graduating from the Academy ( WHOO! ) the Sergeant reminded the whole class that they could still be kicked out if they failed to adhere to the rules of conduct. Geez… who invited this debbie downer?  I’m sure …. one class a long time ago decided to go out and party it up like it was 1999 before they graduated and screwed their future over. But surprisingly no one so far in J’s class has gotten kicked out.  I know the last time I went and met him for dinner there I tried to convince him they wouldn’t catch him kissing me in the car but he wouldn’t budge.  So we drove off campus. HA !  Some of the things that could cause dismissal from Academy are:

– No public display of affection.  No hugging, kissing, rubbing…etc. NO NOTHING.

– Sexual Harrasment or Discrimination

– Use of profanity while marching or doing anything other than for the exception of mock scenarios to enhance realism

– Use of drugs or Alcohol on grounds or dormitories

– Wearing an Academy uniform or a law enforcement uniform while consuming alcohol

– No firearms or ammunition in dorms

– Tardiness or failure to show up to class and cheating on tests

– No cell phones or electronics in class

The list goes on but I didn’t want to bore you. Everyone is antsy to graduate.  The food at this point is terrible and nothing feels as good as sleeping in your own bed, and the drive to academy gets old.  Luckily the last week of Academy isn’t spent taking tests.  He completed his final a week ago! It was on all that he learned over these last 4 months and got a 87% !!!! Then the next day had to run the ORPAT again as his grand final test.  This test is designed to asses the physical abilities of the future officers.  It includes walking, climbing, carrying, running, vaulting, pulling, jumping, lifting and pushing. Phew get tired even saying it.  One is required to complete it in 5 minutes and 30 seconds otherwise you do not pass.  When J first did this at the beginning of the academy his time was 3:25 and he puked afterwards due to how hard he pushed himself. Gross.  Just last week he had to do it again and his time was 3:14 and no PUKE!  HOORAY!

The rest of this week for him has been spent doing mock scenarios all day as if on an entire shift in real life.  With real cars, real guns, real handcuffs, real chases, real reports, but fake scenarios.

I thought during these last 4 months I would have had a TON of MOTIVATION to get a lot of projects done, as I had a whole list of things I wanted to accomplish while I had the time to myself.  But since I’m a procrastinator at heart I decided to leave it to the last week before he graduated!  So considerate of me. So here are a few things I accomplished on my list:

1.  I made homemade hand soap!  Super cheap and inexpensive! Cost me less than 7$ to make a whole gallon.  And it’s Meyer’s Lemon Verbena scent!  I am in LOVE with the Meyer’s brand but without a coupon or discount of some sort it can be rather spendy.  Click the picture below picture to get the recipe!

2.  I usually make my own handmade cards to give to people on their birthdays, holidays, and Thank you’s!  But I have been running low on my stockpile as I usually will make a handful at a time so it will last me thru the year.  Sometimes I even cut up cards people give me over the years and re-cycle them by creating a new card with it.  For some of you this sounds super time consuming… and it can be, but I find a lot of enjoyment in making them as it’s therapeutic.  Plus it saves me money so I don’t have to buy from Mr. Hallmark! So I busted a few out while I watched a show on Netflix.

 3.  I’ve been wanting to spring clean our closet and organize it better. Got   rid of a bag full of clothes and junk that we didn’t need to be holding onto “just in case” and organized what we do have to utilize them better. Things like hats, scarves, belts, shoes, and jeans that usually end up tossed into a basket or bin  where you can’t see them and then you never wear them.  So I was excited when I got creative and used a pants hanger to hang all my  scarves from it so that I can SEE them better.

                                                                                                              4.  Same goes for my earrings.  The better I see them the more I will use them! And I’m a girl who loves earrings of all kinds!  So I went to our local Goodwill to see what they had to possible help display them better and I found this piece for .50 cents!  So Great!!

  5.  Potted some succulents for the bathrooms!  I got this idea from a church we visited and they had this type of look at the communion tables.  I loved the simple yet earthy feel of it! So when I went to Goodwill for my earring find I also came across some dying succulents and these white pots.  2 pots and 2 plants for $6 .  Thats pretty good if you ask me!  BUT I will say normally Goodwill’s prices are ridiculously high esp. since everything they sell is donated.

Obviously I didn’t  get my entire list completed but it felt good to get some little projects I’ve been wanting to complete out of the way!

I am so proud of J and I as we end this season and head into the next.  I feel like we’ve only gotten closer these past 4 months and that I can’t complain about!  He’s worked so diligently and his hard work is paying off! Congrats my Man on such a big accomplishment!  Happy Graduation!!  I’m behind you all the way.

Verbal Judo

Although my man was sick this weekend it still didn’t stop us from being productive!  We just were productive on the couch instead. We watched some episodes of Psych, along with the documentary on Grizzly Man & the documentary called Fork over Knife (highly recommend!!).  We also watched this you tube video of this college professor- Dr. Thompson teach a class on Verbal Judo.  Apparently the Academy recommended we watch it or read his book.

It sounded like some form of verbal hypnosis or martial arts to me. Although the idea did originate from a tiny japenese man. Ha! Yet I was intrigued, being a communication major and all, so I took the next hour with J and learned some interesting things.  Judo means ” the gentle way” and the whole idea is based on the redirection of words and maximum efficiency of your communication.  Sounds complex.  Yet we all know the power of words and the affect they can have on one another.

I can recall a handful of  memories and specific people who have used their words to belittle me and make me feel incompetent.  While others have used their words to challenge me but not belittle, instill confidence, and offer hope.  I don’t want to write much on interpersonal communication because a lot of it is no brainer stuff.  Although with some of the reality T.V. drama we all watch sometimes it begs to differ.

As a police officer or person in authority your words are very crucial as the public eye is on you.  And often with the public you can’t take words back.  BUT imagine a pedestrian yelling assaults at you, or threatening to fight you.  An aggressive person is often avoided my most of us by just walking in the other direction, yet when your a cop on duty you can’t just walk away from it.  It is apart of their job to diffuse such situations that arise. Confrontation all the way. EEEeeeekkkk!

Yet not all cops care about the kind of tactical language they use while on the job.  But all should be asking these types of questions:

How do I  stay calm under verbal assault?

How do I stay unbiased while still being assaulted?

Usually we all get sucked into an insult and want to instantly react.  We get angry.  And just like us, it is easy for officers to take it personal when a person tries to fight them physically or verbally –  its a challenge to their person or masculinity. They potentially can become defensive and their ego quickly gets in the way to actually diffuse the situation.  It’s pretty clear how quickly a cop can bring on a world of trouble for themselves if their tone is offensive & negative. It naturally creates insult.  As insults coming back from the cop would bring only more verbal attack and resistance.

Delivery and tone is everything as it shows your attitude. I remember getting pulled over by a cop in a school zone on a sunday early morning  about 1am going 10 mph over the school speed limit.  I was headed home after a movie marathon with a few friends.  As he asked for my insurance card I accidentally handed him my health insurance card.  Laughable now but I was humiliated and I apologized.  Yet Instead of the cop being nice or even straight forward and asking for the right insurance card he made a comment like, “Do you even know the difference lady?”  Seriously!?  I couldn’t believe the attitude he gave me. OH NO YOU DIDN’T !!!!  Even though it made me so mad I still complied.  All in all I ended up getting over a $500 ticket and went to court and got it cut in half.  BUT the best part is this cop ended up getting fired due to his ill conduct to pedestrians while on duty.  His anger and snarky attitude caught up with him.  Pretty sad.  Good thing I’m not an aggressive person or else the whole situation could have blow way out of proportion.

As J will talk to people that are violent, suicidal, influenced by drugs or alcohol, hostile, depressed, or even just a pedestrian; it’s crucial for him to deflect rather than take things personal. This disempowers the aggressor.  A few examples of deflectors are saying things like:

” I appreciate that but …”

 ” I hear that but…”

” I understand that …”

” I’m sorry you feel that way…”

” I might be upset too if I were in your shoes…”  (and then you finish up the sentence by guiding them to complying)

The video also teaches that the “I” needs to disappear in addressing people as a cop.  Like when J in the future will be giving out a speeding ticket or violation would normally say:

Personal— ” I am giving you a ticket because…..”  vs.

Not Personal—” You are receiving a ticket because….”

This depersonalizes the situation so that the person who is hostile in the first place will now be more compliant as they recieve their ticket.  On the other hand, if it is personal it opens up the opportunity for the person to associate the ticket with the officer.  In the prior example they will reconsider what they have done or that the ticket is being given to them by the city or the department rather than the individual officer. Genius!! This creates safety within a hostile situation.

Obviously ordinary people don’t always need this treatment but as hostility towards cops is increasing it’s important for them to learn how to diffuse such verbal and physical attacks.

Obviously not in every situation.  But more often than not. We’ll see what real life brings! 3 weeks to go!

Thanks for letting me ramble *  Would love to hear any thoughts, comments, or stories!!

The new normal

It is crazy to think that we have less than a month left of Academy!! Man, where did the time go?!  The first half of it seemed to crawl by but now it seems to just be flying.

Honestly at the beginning of the 4 month haul I remember hump day wednesday was THE worst day of the week almost like clock work.  Literally I would wake up feeling doom and gloom and very un-motivated.  It was a terrible feeling, but I would push through it and quickly realized I needed to start my day with a word of truth. so I started reading this daily devotional book that I for some reason kept all these years.  I’ve never been a devotional book girl. Change is in the air !! Yet so many times did that devotion give me the strength I needed for the day and still does.   

It’s weird to think what once was really hard having J gone all week, has now become the normal. Hump day no longer phases me as much and I’ve adjusted to the change in J’s and mine time spent together. Crazy how we adjust to change. I’ve even gotten so use to J not sleeping next to me so that when he comes home on the weekend I get terrible sleep. I have to learn to share all the blankets again!! Dangit.  A small price to pay. Ha!  Although it seems like just yesterday I couldn’t sleep without him next to me.

Our weekends have become practically date weekends ….  I’ll miss this for sure.  This weekend is Thai Food and going to the premier of Hunger Games! Whoop!  Honestly, a little part of me is nervous as the reality of his job is just around the corner as he will start patrol right after he graduates from Academy.  He will be with another officer for the next phase of training- but still.  YET I will say my heart is not fearful, at least not yet. WHY?  Because of confidence and trust.  As a naturally anxious person this is so refreshing!!

A week and a half ago I decided to go to a local coffee house and spend the day journaling while listening to some tunes.  When I do this I usually will re-read a handful of my old entries.  I decided to go all the way back when I was dating J.  Someone once told me that God often times chooses to weave themes in your life or truths he wants to reveal to you that are very specific to who you are because God cares.

Well, finding freedom from  fear has been a huge “theme” of my life.  And it’s laughable that God has J in police work as that is hitting the nail on the head for me in the realm of fear.  Yet I find it comforting.  Even as I looked back over my journal I see how even in the begging of our dating story God was asking me to put trust in the place of fear and to walk forward even in the midst of uncertainty.  Thats a story for another time.  But seriously God has been so good to me.  Many people have told me,  ‘ I could never be a cops wife’,  and often my heart has failed when hearing it.  Yet I’ve realized thats why its not their story, it’s mine.  God knows. My life and story don’t go unseen.

I find great comfort in this.

P.S.

For those of you who like to know the academy life, J over the last few weeks has been learning things such as sobriety testing, elderly abuse, traffic stops and learning how to testify in court. More to come! Cheers to 1 month !

 

Killer Recipe

Any kind of cream sauce with noodles has always been a weakness of mine for as long as I can remember.  For years all I would order off a menu was Fettucini Alfredo without hesitation. Luckily I grew up a bit and realized that my pallet needed to expand a bit as there are so many other amazing dishes out there! So I thought I would share this recipe goodness that was shared with me.

                                                Butternut Squash Macaroni & Cheese

Ingredients:

3 cups of peeled butternut squash ( 1 1/2 lb)

1 1/4 cups of vegetable broth or chicken broth

1 1/2 cups of fat-free milk

2 cloves of garlic

1tsp of kosher salt

1/2 tsp ground pepper

2 TBS of fat- free greek yogurt

1 1/4 cups of shredded gruyere cheese

1 cup of grated pecorino romano cheese

1/4 cup of grated parmigiano- reggiano cheese

2 TBS of parmesan cheese

1 lb of uncooked whole wheat penne pasta

1 tsp olive oil

1/2 cup of panko & cooking spray

The How:

Combine squash, broth, milk and garlic in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium- high heat.  Reduce heat to medium, and simmer until squash is tender when pierced with a fork.  25- 30 minutes then remove from heat.

Then place the hot squash mix into a blender.  Add the salt, pepper, and greek yogurt.  Blend until smooth. Open up the lid to let the steam escape.

Place the blended squash mixture into a bowl- then stir in gruyere, romano, and 2TBS of parmesan. Stir until it looks combined.

Cook Pasta according to package directions. After draining add to squash mixture and stir to combine.  Spread mixture evenly in a 13 x 9 baking dish.  Coat it with cooking spray.

In a medium skillet over medium heat heat oil.  Add panko and cook for 2 minutes or until golden brown.  Remove from heat and stir in remaining parmesan cheese.  Sprinkle evenly over the hot pasta mixture.  Lightly coat topping with cooking spray.

Bake at 375 for 25 minutes or until bubbling.

Erin’s Alterations:

* I used smoked gouda cheese and havarti cheese instead of the other ones the recipe calls for.  I only did this because these are the cheeses I had in my fridge and it still turned out AMAZING.  It had a smoked flavor to it making it sort of taste like there was smoked ham in it.  Which wouldn’t be a bad idea to throw in with it too!

* I used cream instead of skim milk.  I know, I know! I’m terrible but I justify it because I had it in my fridge and I needed to use it !!

Seriously take my word for this recipe- it’s tasty! Even if you dramatically alter the cheeses you use.  The butternut squash only added more of a creamy texture and you can’t even tell it’s there!  J loved it !  Thanks Nicole for the recipe!

Enjoy!!

Crash Course

It didn’t really hit me till mid week the reality of what happened.

I go into super woman mode and don’t come out of it until everything and everyone has seemed to calm down.  Trying to appear strong I finally was able to cry while on a long drive listening to some Coldplay.  It felt good.  Just hours before, I came from the DMV where I was filing the accident for J.

He had left early morning Monday around 4:40 a.m. to get back to Academy for an early start.  Near the end of his commute, only a few miles away from school he hit black ice.  He said he could feel the back of our car losing control and wobbling so he slowed down and then started to spin out of control.  Launching him into the metal chain median on the interstate. Luckily the whole passenger side of the car is what hit the median, allowing J to walk away from the accident unscathed…. DEEP SIGH.

He called me right after it happened.  I was dead asleep when I answered. I ask him a million questions but he couldn’t talk long as he had to still get to Academy and deal with the mess.  Our car was towed from the scene as it was unable to be driven, and a State Trooper took J to school.

The next few hours while I’m at work I’m answering calls from our insurance company and the towing company.  Then a call from J, my heart calms down.  He only has a few minutes to talk since he is on a 15 minute break from class.  I have him recap the whole accident so I get it right.  Come to find out there was a SEMI TRUCK passing him as the accident happened.  “WHY didn’t you tell me this earlier”, I demand over the phone!   His answer- “I didn’t want to worry you.”  OH AWESOME I’m thinking in my head.  A man’s desire to protect their woman- so sweet but I have such a love hate relationship with it.  Love feeling protected but hate finding out details after the fact.  But a good quality to have as a police officer.

After work I took a few friends and jetted down to where our car is being held at a towing recking yard in the middle of nowhere.  I had to legally go there and release the car to our insurance company and take anything out of it of value as our car is deemed totaled.  Luckily this isn’t our new car we just paid off. That would have made me sick. As we approach the car the drivers side looks completely intact but then walking around to the passenger side its a whole other story. Bumper totally ajar, the door panels totally scraped and dented in along with the wheel wells, the wheel completely popped off the tire, and the whole tail light and trunk completely crunched. It was bad.

At this point I really wanted to see J so we released the car and headed to the Academy, as we decide to have dinner with him there.  He met us in the lobby and my instant reaction is to run up and hug him tightly, but in mid action he reminds me that we cant display any affection while on campus. Seriously ?! The rebel in me wanted to do it anyways.  Don’t they know what we just went through? Surely they wouldn’t care if I just hugged him?? Yet we abstained.

Dinner was good but short till he had to march off to class again to learn about child abuse.  He said the whole day has been an emotional roller coaster from the wreck then to class where many of the guys had tears filling their eyes due to the many cases of child abuse they were informed of- with pictures and all.

All in all, these last few days have been emotional.  I am thankful that J is unharmed and that everything is okay. Have had a few tough nights sleeping but I think when J comes home I will feel much more at ease.  Thank you Jesus for protecting my man.

E

My Husband is an Actor Now?

Not going to Lie. I’ve spent most of my spare time this last week and the previous week reading the Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins. IT’S SO GOOD! Even right now the last book- Mocking Jay- is tempting me to finish it off.  There has been a few mornings where I woke up motivated to get things done around the house or write a blog post yet I find myself still in my PJ’s until 1pm with my book in hand.

I know what your thinking…LAZY GIRL! But …. every once in awhile you got to read a good book! It’s good for the soul! And since no kids are in the picture yet, I’m taking full advantage of it.

So while I’m off in the land of fiction J this last week has been role playing at Academy.  On campus they have this mock up indoor City that they call ‘Scenario Village’.

The students will ‘respond’ to training calls inside the scenario building. The Scenario Village houses a full-sized city street, with curbs and sidewalks. The street is flanked by building facades that represent businesses and residences found in any police agency’s jurisdiction. It’s made to resemble real life scenario’s that they as cops will encounter.  The pretend city has 3 houses fully furnished, apartment with basement access, a jail, bar, bank, laundry mat, movie store and a few other buildings. These facades are set up with furniture that realistically replicates business and residential settings. There are actual streets with actual names and addresses on the buildings. I myself haven’t seen it, although I’d like too! Instructors use this city to teach the students how to develop interviewing, interrogation, and investigation skills.

Multiple times this week in front of instructors J and a partner had to answer calls over their radio and show up to a particular place in Scenario Village .There they were faced with a specific scenario or crime that was committed and would have to diffuse the situation or be able to interview real actors and interrogate those at the scene.  Denzel Washington wasn’t there to role play. Too bad as he is one of my favorites! But those acting took it really serious, as many of them were currently cops and would act out scenarios they encounter every day. The instructors would be analyzing the way J and his partner went about it and after the scenario plays itself out the instructor would debrief them on how they could improve.  He said it was nerve wracking as people watch you and instructors are essentially grading you on your every move, yet it’s good to have that pressure as it resembles real life scenarios.

It’s hard for the students to prepare for the feeling of adrenaline & the nerves a real life situation bring while in the classroom, so it’s good for them to have the pressure of other students watching along with the instructors as it brings a realistic angle to it.  Some of the things that J had to investigate was a car that was set on fire and had to look for any evidence that helped develop a suspect. He had to diffuse an argument between a store clerk who was racist against the non-native speaking customer who wouldn’t pay for his movie because he didn’t have money, while another where he had to handle a man who just was released from jail but was all up in arms over his dog who was emitted to the local animal shelter but accidently got put down. Those are just a few of the many they did. J also learned how to deal with different people who had different mental illnesses.  Through acting out scenarios they teach each student how to specifically deal with Autism, Bi-polar, and Schizophrenic people.  They learn things like how to approach mentally ill people thru both body language and learning how to adjust the questions they ask as police officers.

Driving like a crazy man, now acting ? Ha! I asked him if he felt awkward as I know I would definitely be turning red and sweating a bit knowing everyone was watching me! He told me he sort of felt funny but you get over it real quick.  Now when they have class lectures for 4 hours straight, J has a hard time getting thru them as nothing beats intense hands on training!  Good thing they have a espresso machine on campus, as J is often running to get a cup of joe to get him through the day.

Again, I am impressed by the training.

Driving Like a Crazy Man

Who wouldn’t want to drive like a maniac and get paid for it?  

Well this last week at academy J spent all week doing just that. It’s what they called EVOC training. Which stands for Emergency Vehicle Operation Course. At the Academy they have an entire race track designed with curves, turns and straight aways  to resemble real life roads, highways, and freeways.

All the guys are given older Ford Crown Victoria cars  to share for the week to learn how to drive like professionals. Definitely not my choice of car to be chasing bad guys in,  but I guess they can handle pretty darn well.  It’s reassuring to know that police officers have to learn and pass tests on how to drive professionally and carefully at high speeds, even before they are released into the real world.  They teach them to have 100% control of the car 100% of the time.  Sounds like a good plan. Yet when you think of some of those high speed police chases in the movies the cop cars usually are flying thru the air, always banging up against other cars, and kind of seem to be out of control.

J and I have a friend who likes to drive like a maniac. And I refuse to drive with him now, because of how unsafe I have felt while in his vehicle.  While going thru EVOC training J told me to imagine our friend and his driving and then times it by 10 and that would resemble the intensity of his training. OH….. AWESOME!  Except I’m pretty sure I or anybody would feel much safer when learning to drive like a maniac on a designated track.  But J said he feels so much more confident now driving at high speeds because he’s been taught how to stay in control at all times.  Although he said he did have a bruise on his knee from it hitting the side of the interior of the car each time they turned a corner fast….

Every time I would talk to J on the phone he was just a boy full of pure excitement.  Giddy to tell me how fast they drove that day or how he weaved in and out of cones while going 45 miles an hour without ever hitting a single one, or learning to parallel park in a flash. I’ll admit I would be pretty excited too if I could parallel park super quick like in the movies where the car comes sliding in and perfectly parks between two cars without a scratch. People recently have constantly been telling me I need to learn to park better….. I stay in between the lines people!!

At academy they have learned things like shuffle steering which it all has to do with how you hold the steering wheel at faster speeds to have more control, how to do quick lane changes going 45 mph or faster, Zig-Zagging thru cones at like 60mph, learning how to enter and exit out of turns, how to brake properly, learning what calls make for certain driving measures, safety check lists before getting in your car for the day and the list goes on.

The teachers wanted the guys to learn and feel what it was like for them to push the car to 100% of it’s capacity as they usually from day to day will only be pushing it to about 75% or less.   J said they were allowed to go one lap at 100% allowing for the car to go 95 mph or more.  Loosing control was something the teachers wanted the guys to feel so they can teach them how to understand the theory behind why the car ends up un- level and you end up spinning out or can’t seem to correct the direction of the car.  They teach how to regain control quickly.  J apparently got nicknamed by the guys as “Kubota” after some tractor brand as he went off the track a few times and into the muddy ” farmland”. Of course he said it was a blast, and he passed all his driving tests so thats all that matters! They also added skid pad testing tires to the car to simulate what it would be like for the guys to drive in different types of weather.  So they got to learn how to drive in “icy” conditions due to these tires.  Technology these days is Amazing!!

Police officers not only have to anticipate how they are going to respond to the call they just received when they arrive at the scene; but they also have to be making continual driving decisions as they are headed to the  scene. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions. AH!  And the reason for this is because when a cops car has lights and sirens on most people can’t hear or see them until they are about 1-2 car lengths away, so there is potential for so much to go wrong!  There have been numerous times police officers have gotten in accidents before even arriving to the scene.  Obviously not always the pedestrians or other drivers are at fault, yet police officers are having to analyze so much when headed out to a call as they are now having to take everyone s safety into account when driving into an intersection, swerving in and out of traffic etc… thats a lot to be analyzing all at once if you ask me.

The list goes on of the fun things they learned last week! And this week they are doing fire arms. Oh the joys of being a cop! I on the other hand I bought a new eye shadow this week and ate sushi for the first time and actually enjoyed it…. Oh the joys of being the wife of a cop 🙂

Change

I’ve have a love hate relationship with change. Change for me always initially seems to bring discomfort and it takes me awhile to adjust or reconnect to my new circumstances.  Yet once that wave takes it’s toll, change for me also brings a jolt of excitement and I feel refreshed. I find myself thankful and rejuvenated. It’s funny how we hate feeling uncomfortable. Even if its for our own good and it’s to keep us from becoming stagnant.

I learned this big word one day in one of my college communication courses and I fell in love with the word and it’s meaning:

  Cognitive Dissonance-

 ” A discomfort caused by holding conflicting cognitions such as ideas, beliefs,      values, emotional reactions etc… simultaneously.”

Now who doesn’t feel this way throughout life?? I DO.  We’re faced with this all the time.

I got the privilege this past week to meet with a woman who has been doing the cops wife thing for over a decade.  Her and her man have gone thru many ups and downs throughout the years.  I loved her honesty yet she had a sense of hope and peace about her.  It was so great for me to be able to talk about everything I’ve experienced so far in the early stages of this and have her 100% understand.  We had some good laughs and I asked a handful of questions.  Then the topic came up that I just knew it would  make me cry. I told her my number one fear with this whole police thing is that J would Change.  Tears welled up in my eyes while I talked to her about who J is – his optimistic and fun personality. And how I’m scared that he will become cynical and will only see the bad in the world.  I’m scared to have our worldview Change.  She nodded her head as if she totally understood.  A wave of peace came over me knowing I’m not the only woman feeling this way.

Even though she couldn’t reassure me that this wouldn’t happen,  she did say that her husband is just as fun loving and emotionally connected with his family as he was before it just looks different at times.  The biggest change that she has noticed is that her man and most cops have a hard time working 40 hour work weeks of constantly being on guard incase of an assault or crime and then they have to enter back into real life with their family and try to put their guard down. She mentioned that it’s hard for them to not think everyone around them isn’t a bad guy while off duty.  She mentioned that our life will Change as protection and awareness are much more heightened from day to day and we as a couple will work through it emotionally as that reality sinks in.

Alert! Alert! Feeling some cognitive dissonance!?

These changes that are to come kind of tear at my heart.  I am a very grace giving, second chances,  free loving type- or at least I try to be…. and to be on guard all the time and constantly aware of the evil in this world just isn’t me. In no way do I have this figured out of how this balance of Change yet staying ourselves will occur.

Luckily the realm of Law Enforcement realizes these things and the toll it can take on police officers and their families.  They try and equip you with as much resources as possible.  They gave me a book called ‘Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement’. I just started reading it last night.  It doesn’t waste time with fluff and cuts right to the chase in the first chapter.

I am niave to think that  we can avoid Change.  And it would be dumb of me to think that J and I won’t Change throughout this journey.  Yet I think I’ve realized two things this week. The first is that I am not alone.  It’s a tremendous help to talk to others who have walked the same road no matter who you are or what your circumstance is.  I love the verse 2 Corinthians 1:4-

“God who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

The second realization is that God is asking me to not fear change. Trust me I’ll still have fears but I think what I mean is that He is asking me to have courage and to take it all as it comes in the midst of fear. To embrace the Change as it is for my good while also being aware of the affects it has on us, even when I feel cognitive dissonance throughout the journey.

Sir YES Sir !

Many have inquired about Academy.  Wondering why J has to go there and for how long….

I’VE BEEN WONDERING THE SAME THING MYSELF ?!

Just kidding.  Thats an emotional girl writing. Ha! Surprisingly I am very impressed by the training at Academy and as a wife I am very thankful for how well rounded it is, even though it seems really long.

J said within the first week this is all he could think when walking around was LEFT, LEFT, LEFT-RIGHT, LEFT……. (repeat). One of the first things he had to do when arriving to Academy was  learn how to march.  As simple as it seems to “walk” in a formation,  he said once one person gets out of sync in formation everyone starts to mess up and its hard to get back on track especially when everyone is giggling.  Seriously how could you keep a straight face??

The structure OBVIOUSLY is very militaristic!

Every guy as soon as they arrive on their first day are issued the same faded blue over coat and cargo blue pants.  They are required to wear this every day with their navy blue cotton T-shirt and  black boots with only black socks. Coming from a couple who loves style this is so restricting!  One or two weeks maybe . . . . but 4 months wearing the same drab outfit and blending in? No thank you.  This is why J is there not me. I would secretly wear some bright pink tank top or would go all out on my eye makeup! Ha!

Every weekday morning he wakes up at 5 am to take a quick shower and tidy his room per the requirements of a possible room inspection.  His bed has to be made with perfect hospital corners, the sheet has to be folded a papers length away from the bed, and the fold has to be only a half of a papers length long.  Seriously? So many better things to be doing at 5am! Like sleeping!

Well….my man got smart and heeded the advice of another rookie and took his sleeping bag with him and he just sleeps on top of his bed.  Therefore all he has to do is smooth out the wrinkles in the sheets in the early morning! Yet room inspections also entail much more than a well made bed.  There is to be no dust anywhere, everything put away and organized; and the guys have to be wearing their uniform fully pressed (ironed) and boots shined perfectly all while standing at attention outside the door as the inspection is under way. They actually get graded on their whole room presentation.  I like a clean room but at that hour it seems like such a daunting task.

{p.s. who would have known that women’s panty hoes are the best shoe shinning tool?? Not me. I don’t even own a pair so we had to buy some at target before he left.}

J has kept such a great attitude throughout, even when he has PT’s that start at 6am.  This consists of a half hour of circuit training – everything from pushups, sit-ups lunges, planks, to cardio workouts.  Recently he had to run up a steep hill 4 times with all of his gear that weighs over 20lbs.  Definitely not for the  weak or weary!  I’ve often gotten texts from him stating that the workouts are killer. I’m all for a good workout, yet try that with 20 extra pounds on you !! No thanks!

After PT’s they  go and eat a hearty breakfast and quickly take a shower and get dressed in their uniform to head outside. Rain or shine everyone has to march in formation at 7:20 a.m. for what they call colors. This is where they  march outside and solute the flag as it is raised.

Then they march here, march there  throw in a few “Sir YES Sir” s in there and then eventually they march to class which lasts for 4 hours. Then a lunch break . . . .  and then another 4 hours of class.  Pretty much it’s just like college just intensified and a little more serious. I could keep going on about his schedule but its just very very organized and structured. I think we all get the point.

WHY?

This is the question I always ask, and someday I’m sure my kids will drive me crazy with that question too. But I’m a big fan of knowing why and understanding why we do things.  So WHY all the structure and organization at Academy??

I mean it’s not like in real life some Policeman or woman is going to march up to your car and solute you. AND if they did -pretty sure we would all drive away scoffing….  

Yet luckily those teaching our young rookies don’t keep them in the dark over the obvious military tactics.  DETAIL is the main reason for this approach.  They told them that attention to detail is a HUGE part of being a cop and they are trying to teach them this now as they enter into their careers. Of course they are also looking to see if anyone in the academy has an authority issue and wont follow orders– as this will only get worse as a person becomes a cop.  We have all witnessed a cop I’m sure at some time that seemed to be on some authority trip and he makes all cops look bad.

One of the first classes J took was about Ethics and Professionalism.  The Academy is teaching them about how easily good cops through poor decision making become a bad cop.  Learning awareness and how to catch these natural tendencies.

J explained it in layman’s terms- we all find ourselves driving and not being able to recall the last few lights we drove thru. We hope and pray that they were green …. or at least yellow!!  Yet for some reason it’s fuzzy and we can’t recall the last 5 minutes of the drive.  Scary yet so natural, and I know I’ve been guilty of that many times!!  They liken this example to how easy it is to go into a ‘Zombie Brain’ mentality when policing too. You don’t realize the fuzziness creeping in due to stress, sleep deprivation, poor home life, diet, etc… the list goes on…when soon you start to make poor decisions as a cop yet don’t realize it until you find yourself in a place you never wanted to be or a person you never wanted to become. Yet wonder ‘how did I get here?’

The teachers at academy are teaching them how to holistically  take care of their bodies so that they don’t reach levels of pure exhaustion -as that often affects how they police the community. A health and nutrition class is mandatory for all of them. Teaching everything from  learning about cholesterol, which vitamins are essential, emotional awareness, relationship health, to the effects of physical fitness and how not staying fit can be a liability unto themselves.

The weekend he came home from learning all this in his health class he insisted we go to Costco and buy all sorts of suppliments for us to jump start a healthy lifestyle.  I’m proud to say I am now finally back to taking a multiple vitamin every day along with Vitamin D and Omega 3!!!  I’m proud because I think for awhile after moving out of my parents house I banned taking vitamins as I hated the taste of them! As a little kid and into my teens I remember sitting at the table after dinner for what seemed like hours(prob 5 min) until I took my vitamins. Blek!! I know it’s all in my mind …. but still.

J is loving everything and is just soaking it all in. Defensive tactics, Forensics, investigations, patrol procedures, interrogation & interviews, use of force and SO much more are other classes he is taking. And there are many more classes to come. In order to pass the Academy he has to maintain a 75% grade average and most tests he takes he has to get 100% on.  If he misses any questions he has to write a 1 page report on each question he gets wrong.  It’s Intense and a person who isn’t a good test taker could be in a big realm of trouble. Yet J is putting in his time and studying hard and doing his best to retain the information.  He comes home with lots to tell me!

So although Academy is taking up a third of the year I am grateful as the things he is learning are very essential and key to what is ahead.  Learning to see the positive!